Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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