Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
