In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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