you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
