Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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