he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
