i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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