A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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