The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
