Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
