if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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