Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My dick has a subreddit
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
