the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
