She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
