It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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