Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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