So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
