weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
