Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
