Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Randomize
