Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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