Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
