All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
