God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
