At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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