it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize