So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
