omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
