What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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