You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
