I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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