i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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