I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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