Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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