I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
