Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
