He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
