You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
