This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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