I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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