if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
