White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
