I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
