Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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