Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You ruined the universe
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
