i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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