i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
