I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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