If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
