it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
