i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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