i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
