this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
