yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
