____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
