Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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