He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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