Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
