pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
