I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
