It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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