It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
