All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
