he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize